How to Catch a Man /Vancouver/Our Four Suitcases

How To Catch a Man

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Let's imagine you are out on the lake in a boat. You do not have a fishing pole. You do not have bait. You are just in that boat floating around. The trophy fish just swam right on by you. Did you catch him? No, you did not! Why? You were not prepared!

The circumstances were not right and your timing was off. There is a whole lot more to fishing than some women understand. Understanding where you are on the spectrum of ability is important. You need the knowledge to go out and haul in the fish you want.

Do you have the right equipment? Do you understand how your fish thinks, what it eats, what catches it's eye, where it hangs out? Do you have the right equipment to land the fish that you want? Fishing takes patience and if you want to succeed and become a fish whisperer then you have to have the skills.

There are very few natural fish whisperers. Most of us gals have to do our homework on how to become proficient in baiting our hooks and understanding our quarry. Not everyone can fish from the dock with a stick, some line and a worm and end up with their dream fish. There is no fun in just dropping your line in the water and taking home the first fish that bites.

If you are hungry and the fish is ample then I can understand settling for that first nibbler. However, there are plenty of fish in the sea and it is the woman with the right bait and patience that lands the trophy fish. Maybe you don't want to put forth the effort it takes to catch the fish that puts up a fight. Maybe you are having a problem keeping that fish on your line.

A fish whisperer need never worry where her next meal is coming from because she knows how to bait her hook, catch her fish and is not afraid to get a little tough in addressing her real needs.

Some women are born fish whisperers and fish jump willingly into their boat, sacrificing themselves without any fight at all. Let's start with understanding your requirements. Do you want to fish for sport or to feed a family? Do you even know what type of fish you want? What do you currently have to offer? Are you working? In school? In shape? In debt? Don't even think about dropping a line until you know exactly what you have to offer and why you should not settle for an unworthy fish.

Do a complete inventory of yourself and fix whatever needs to be fixed or be prepared to lower your expectations. What are your expectations? What do you need? Sit down and write up a complete list of everything that you would like in a prospective catch. Don't leave out anything. Dream big but be realistic. Remember, if you want that big catch you are going to have to have pretty impressive bait.

If you are happy with the goldfish then make sure you are offering goldfish-tempting bait. Goldfish are always willing to nibble on shark bait and some may even try to swallow the bait whole. Stay away from the nibblers that are not worthy of the bait by knowing exactly what you have to offer.

Once you know what type of fish you want, have equipped yourself with the proper bait and are ready to drop your line then it is time to troll, right? Wrong!

It's time to study the habits and habitat of your fish. What attracts the attention of your intended catch? What are his eating habits? Do you have the skills necessary to engage and keep the fish? Are you looking to acquire the necessary skills to become a fish whisperer? Pull on those hip waders newbie darlings and get ready to learn how to cut bait before learning to fish.

Fishing is not for everyone. If you are at all squeamish about planning, preparing for or learning how to bait your line, land and keep your man then go back to the dock or fish from shore and leave the real fishing to the smart girls.

Preparation is vitally important in all aspects of life.

We carefully plan weddings, baby showers, holidays and more to make the event/day run smoothly for all and to be successful. Planning how to find and reel in your perfect mate should get as much attention. Good preparation starts with goals.

I know that we each start out with a basic list of characteristics that we are looking for in a prospective mate. We want someone that is going to make us feel loved and cherished. Someone loyal that will stay with us for the forever.

If that special person can make us laugh and helps to provide a secure home along the way then all the better. If that special someone also appeals to our visual desires and gets along well with the important people in our life then we are half way down that aisle in our day dreams of happily ever after wedded bliss.

Let's stop here for a minute. Go get a mirror.

Once we think we are on to a "good thing" with a possible mate for life it is highly likely that we are going to start giving them attributes that they may not necessarily possess. We need to take our own full measure before going any further.

You need to know your own strengths and weakness inside and out before dissecting a future mate. Do you remember that list I suggested you consider making? Did you make it? If not, then let's get started.

Grab a pen, a piece of paper and your best friend's phone number. First you start by sitting down in front of a mirror. We'll start with the easiest part. How do you look? Have you kept up personal maintenance? Start with looking at your skin, your complexion, your teeth, your hair, your body type. Write a list of what needs fixing. This is no different than making sure your vehicle stays in tip top shape. Be realistic about what you can and cannot change.

This outer visage is your calling card and the shiny bait that your future catch sees before noticing your moves.

If you are shark fishing then understand that the bait has to be top of the line. If you think for a minute that you are just going to drop your line in the water without some preparation then you need to revisit the mirror.

You are not looking to pick apart your person. You are looking for your reality. Knowing what you bring to the table is important. You have to see yourself as others see you. It is to your advantage to know what works for you and against you, in general. What one fish overlooks may stand out to another. We are looking for that first good impression.

Now, write the list. It is your initial list of what you look like in a glance. What stands out as your best feature? Do you have a beautiful smile, soulful eyes, a trim waistline, a dressing style all your own? Once you have completed your personal looks inventory you need to call your very best friends and get their honest opinions about what you need to keep and what you need to change about your appearance. Then, if you dare, ask a few strangers what first impression you make.

Your personal "looks" inventory is a fun exercise to help you understand exactly the kind of bait you have available on a surface level. Just like a fish, a man is usually attracted to the flashier lure. It is no secret that men are mostly visual creatures.

Entire multi-million dollar industries are built on the desire of a woman to be attractive to the opposite sex. We run out to the gym, the hair salon, the nail salon and plot our next outfit while slathering on expensive make up and spritzing our bodies with "come hither" scents. We know it works to attract a man's attention. We revel in the admiration we receive when our efforts can stop a man in his tracks. We tell ourselves we do it for our own benefit. Yeah, right! I loved tossing away my hard earned money on products that made me look like every other woman.

Unfortunately, it is necessary to a degree to at least look like you are putting forth an effort. Is your appearance up to snuff? Do you feel confident in how you look? This is the most important part of making sure you are looking your best. The confidence you have when you feel that you look your best is exactly what is going to shine through the most and it is that confidence that is going to get more attention than just a great body or face.

Men cannot resist a confident woman. A truly confident woman does not need a man. she just wants one. This is the woman that you want to be. Why? Because, my darlings, every fish swimming in the sea is secretly terrified of us. Women are amazing! You are amazing!

You don't need a man! You just want one. Love is wonderful and finding someone to love and to share your life is great. If you are looking for someone to "complete" you in this way fine. However, if you need a man to make you feel complete then you need to go back to the drawing board and find yourself, first.

You don't need a man? Good! We can get started! You have the right bait.

Now you have to determine exactly what type of fish you want to catch. You don't go fishing for bass in the middle of the lake when your chances of catching bass are improved significantly by fishing closer to shore. What fish do you want to catch? Let's think about this seriously. Do you want the athlete, the dreamy romantic musician type, the kind, sensitive soul, the funny guy or maybe even that hometown, down to earth type?

Is your fish someone that you already know? You should carefully examine the male friends that you have friend-zoned first before going any further. Do any of them meet the requirements on your list of types of fish you want to catch? If they are even close to your type then you have to give them a second look. Here is why ....love is a choice.

Real enduring love is not the romantic fairy tale we read about in books. Long-term love is about respect, friendship, caring, kindness, honesty and communication. It can be romantic, sexy and hot, too, but long-term love's real strength is based on a true feeling of enduring friendship. In any relationship, when we choose to do the right thing and respect the other person and treat that person with love then the feeling of love grows even stronger. If you think about it carefully then you may find that Mr. Right is swimming around right under your nose.

If you have ruled out these potential catches then you have to consider your next options. Where does your type of fish hang out? Where does he practice his faith? What are his hobbies? Where does he work? Where does he go after work? Does he travel? Does he sail? What sports events would he attend? What music does he enjoy? Where would he go for breakfast. lunch, supper or dessert? Where would he do his laundry or wash his car? Does he volunteer or hang out around book stores?

Remember, the bait is your confident smile! You are not approaching any fish at all, under no circumstances do you approach the fish. The fish must come to you. It is imperative that the fish takes the first nibble and that you do absolutely nothing other than be that attractive bait. The fish has to do all the work to see if he is seriously interested.

You can save the perfect , intellectual and witty remarks for another time. Just present the physical bait in it's most attractive form, smile, nod, laugh and be prepared to leave the minute that fish does more than nibble. Trust me. If you hooked your fish then he will chase after you to get your number or return to the same spot looking for you again. Be available but reserved. Allowing the fish to do most of the work reinforces in his brain that he wants you.

Don't like "playing games" or being unavailable? Click "I'm a straight shooter". If you believe that you need to "play" your fish" when he is on the line then carry on reading.

Until your fish swallows the hook he is nothing more than a nibbler. A nibbler will take away pieces of you without committing himself. Although this nibbling time period is an excellent time for you to determine if this fish is your Mr. Right it is a dangerous time to try and reel in your fish. First of all, that fish is keeping his options open and may be nibbling around, Secondly, the fish has not taken the line and run with it. Your potential catch is simply tasting what you are offering, piece by piece. Some fish sneakily nibble away until you have nothing left to offer.

A poor fisher woman might chum and throw her bait in the water hoping to catch just any fish that bites, but that is not you. You chose your fish, carefully. You have patience. Until you see that bobber go under and your fish taking the bait, hook, line and sinker, your plan is to tempt and tease that fish. Whisper to your fish. It's time to tell your fish how nice it is in the boat, together. Let him know that you like him and are enjoying his company but make sure he's not just a nibbler and that he has shown interest in being in the boat with you and only you.

You are on your way to becoming a fish-whisperer! You are a smart woman who understands that men are attracted to a woman that likes men. You look at men and see their potential, their charm and love them for their flaws and foibles. You are comfortable in the company of men but you show them and him that he is your hero. You like him and you have no problem letting him know that you enjoy his company. You are emotionally available without being needy because you like who you are, first. You are kind and fair to him and you fit well into his life. His friends like you, his family likes you. He wants you around a lot.

You, however, are not always physically around. You need to keep a small distance until he jumps into the boat on his own. It is your personal space and he is welcome to visit but not stay in that space, indefinitely. Lovingly let him know that you have other plans and that you look forward to hearing from him, later.

You do not discuss your plans. You are to be vague, distract him and change the subject or let him know exactly what you want to do when you next see him. Even if you have to go out of town, you are taking the next week off. No calls, no texts, nothing. When you next see him it will be because he hunted you down. You are not "playing hard to get". You should be hard to get! Let him know you had some things on your mind, personal things. This is the tactic you will continue to employ until he devotes himself to a serious, committed relationship with you.

If this tactic fails to work within six months then you have the wrong fish. Throw him back, he is not for you. Then start again. Fishing is fun! If you find Mr. Right along the way then you are indeed a true "fish whisperer".

Keep that fish, yours forever, by continuing to whisper in his ear about how wonderful he is and how lucky you both are to be in the same boat.